Repentance is not a work we do to earn Salvation; it is the result of the works of the Holy Spirit, no one repents on their own,

It is the Divine power of God that pulls you to God Himself,

 And I, if I be lifted up from the earth, will draw all men unto me. John 12:32 KJV

Transparent Moments

"My story on How God drew me to Repentance.”  

In 2014, I was afflicted with chronic depression, a battle I've waged since my teens. One day, my sister found out about my illness and felt compelled to come and check on me and stay with me overnight, she then invited me to her church service that Sunday; after attending a few services,

I experienced salvation, was baptized, and eventually I joined the church as a devout member.

By God's mercy and grace, I was delivered from my depression.

With God's blessings, I received a job and a car, marking an improvement in my life. getting myself back on track, Yet I must admit that during that period, I treated God as if He was a genie, I accepted the blessings of being delivered and the blessings of a job and a car, and I recognized Him but I didn't have reverence for Him not genuinely seeking salvation but rather going through the motions, desiring healing to find a way out of my depression, and once I recovered, I felt I no longer needed for God, I forgot what He did for me and carried on to my regular way of living. but I did it unconsciously.

I departed from the church for a period of five years, from 2014 to 2019.

Prior to me leaving, God was warning me through my pastor. He warned me by saying, "Alonya, don't leave the church; if you do, you will open the door for the enemy to slip back into your life which would later on cause me to fall back into my habits and ways 

"I had already been saved and baptized, I thought I was good and covered,

not understanding the true nature of not only my salvation but my relationship with God.

Eventually, I lost my apartment due to poor choices and a lack of focus. I was distracted, and though I cared, I also felt indifferent, which doesn't seem to make sense, but things began to deteriorate. I found myself living in sin once more, and to make matters worse, I accepted back with what I was familiar with. that included relationships that meant me no good, not setting boundaries, and dealing with the shame and guilt of it all.

I understand that we all fall short of God's glory daily, but it's clear that when we fail to heed God's guidance, we inevitably hit a brick wall, and that's when life becomes challenging.

James 1:15 These desires give birth to sinful actions. And when sin is allowed to grow, it gives birth to death.

I found myself moving back to my hometown in Paterson, NJ. Everything was happening at a pace that was both rapid and confusingly slow, and summer had arrived. My anxiety had gotten really bad, and it seemed that my previously stable world was beginning to fall apart.  in the months following, I lost my job, my car, and was on the verge of losing my apartment for the second time, this time it was due to its illegal status,

which ultimately led to me facing homelessness with no place to go.

He chose to have me go back to my vomit and use what I was familiar with to see His heart, I started to cry with a repentant heart, I realized even though I was saved I knew that I had falling away from the God who saved me.

I was out of His presence; but out of His Love for me, God warns us about drifting away in Hebrews 2:1-3,

My spirit was torn apart with what I saw, thinking of all the evil and sin in this world and how God has giving us this gift of His Son Jesus Christ to die for all of our sins so that we can be reconciled back to the Father,

I then proceeded to take a shower just continuing to cry, pouring out my heart, telling God how truly sorry I was and then while in the shower God showed me myself on the waters like Peter, and He told me To Come to Him, don’t be afraid that He would save me, it was just me and God and no one else,

God was dealing with me at that moment, even though I had gone back into the world and committed all that sin, He still wanted me, He still loved me, He still wanted to save me so, I cried out to God to save me and before you know it, I was on my knees repenting everything I did within those 5 years and in my whole life, 

I no longer saw God as that Genie; I saw Him as my Father

I brought up everything I could think that I did in my life, and I confessed it to the Father.

 As weeks went by, I started to be revived, restored, and made whole again my anxiety had started to diminish, I now was able to go outside and take those long walks in the warm weather, praising God for what He had done, and eventually I started attending my church again, don't underestimate what God can do in your life,

HE is Our Salavtion in this life and in eternity, Be of good cheer 

Love You with the Love of Jesus Christ 

As a dog returns to its vomit, so fools repeat their folly

Proverbs 26:11

If my people who are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn away from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven and I will forgive their sin and heal their land.

2 Chronicles 7:14